11/10/2022 0 Comments The vatican tapes dvd![]() It doesn’t end with some shocking or interesting twist, which can slightly redeem a shit film as evidenced by 2012’s Bigfoot: The Lost Coast Tapes. ![]() If you are going to have music accompanying your shots, you might as well CG in some ghosts and distort some screams, because we are clearly watching a movie. I get that they might have been going for a realistic vibe, but you kind of threw that out the window when you put a soundtrack into your found footage movie. There are a couple of creative variations, such as when the little girl demon is actually in two places at the same time, but the movie never delivers a single scare. In every exorcism, the priest says some holy words and throws down some holy water, and the demon goes “hisssssss” and the person shakes. First up is teenage girl possessed by demons making her say sex stuff, followed by possessed old lady, followed by little girl who is oddly calm for being possessed, and finally my personal favorite, twisty demon. The movie could easily be re-titled “The Four People You Obligatorily Must Exorcise,” and serve as a self-help book for mindless filmmakers. From here, the movie flips between Joe getting spooked in his hotel room, Joe being upset on the bus, and Joe having an increasingly bad time at Exorcisms. Next up, we meet Father Luigi Monsi, who will serve as our tour guide to exorcism for the remainder of the trip. They whole satanic corruption element never comes back, so I can only assume that they beat the devil and are now celebrating. There’s a whole segment where Joe just holds the camera in front of his face and dances in circles at a party. They go out and disrupt a black mass, calling the cops to arrest several cultists. It starts off with some hints of a plot about satanic corruption within the Vatican. The Vatican Exorcisms is not one of these movies. What makes these movies fun is not only the terrible acting, but the nonsense plot where unpredictably absurd twists occur at every turn. A lot of people enjoy watching incredibly bad yet entertaining movies, as evidenced by the followings behind movies like The Room and Trolls 2. The best of these movies are schlock that takes the piss out of itself to an extent that it becomes ironically comedic. I know a lot of really bad movies come out, but they usually have a sense of corniness where everyone knew they were all taking part in making something crap. He had to have read the script, decided that the best candidate to deliver the overwrought and nonsense dialogue was none other than himself, acted through the whole thing, edited it, decided that his bizarre overemphasized delivery was the best take, and released it for the world to see. Marino, but it takes some kind of crazed delusions of grandeur to not only direct a movie this bad, but also star in it. I know I am harping a bit too much on Mr. I imagine at the end of every shot, he held out his hands, palms up, and two auxiliary bros would come out from the background and jumping high five him in unison. He cocks his head back a bit, and says, “Well, then introduce me to him.” Hold shot to smolder. At one point, Joe is interviewing the token exorcist, and the exorcist says, “The Devil is real, and I do battle with him every day.” After a deep breath, a wry smirk spreads across Joe’s salt and pepper stubble face. I’d really like to get my hands on a copy of the original script, as I imagine there is heavy scene direction to “smolder.” Every line and scene is delivered in the way someone writes self-insert fanfiction, with the absolute blind certainty that you are the coolest and sexiest guy in the world. ![]()
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